This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
