she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
