so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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