didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
