Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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