are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
