Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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