this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
