D3 body, D1 cock
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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