He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
