Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
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I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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