I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
