I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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