I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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