we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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