so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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