So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think my moral compass just broke
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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