I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
