Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
