This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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