I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize