Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How's work?
Spinning.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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