You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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