I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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