I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
