SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
