I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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