I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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