I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize