Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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