I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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