There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
