And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
