so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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