what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize