I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
