We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize