a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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