If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
