We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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