I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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