i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
