Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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