We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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