xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
