She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
