How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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