I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
