I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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