So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
