you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
