yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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