Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
